


Once More, With Feelings

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2018 [62]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, M/M, Memory Loss, Prompt Fill, post-episode: s05e06 the shrine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 18:11:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16897503
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Memory prompt:Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Rodney McKay,I just want to stayI just want to keep this dream in meYou're losing your memory now(Ryan Star)In which Rodney starts to lose his memory...again.





	Once More, With Feelings

“Prime or not prime?” John asked as they walked the road to the village on M4R-TT7. 

“Prime,” Rodney replied. “29,887.”

“Not prime. 33,703.” John was already thinking of the next number, because Rodney was always so fast answering. Only there was no answer forthcoming. John looked over at Rodney, saw his brow was furrowed. “McKay?”

“I’m thinking. I know it…um…not prime?”

John stopped walking, a finger of ice working down his spine. “What?”

“Oh. No. No, I mean prime. Obviously, it’s prime.” Rodney tried to walk away but John grabbed hold of his arm.

“There a problem?” Ronon jogged back from his position on point, and Teyla joined them from the rear.

“33,703, McKay. Prime or not prime?”

“Prime. I’m not stupid, you know.”

He wasn’t stupid, not by a long shot, but John could see fear in Rodney’s eyes. He recognized it, felt the echo inside himself.

“Don’t bullshit me,” John said. “Are you guessing, or do you know?”

The look on Rodney’s face told him everything he needed to know, and he felt his stomach drop all the way to his feet. 

“We are turning back,” Teyla said, easily reading the situation.

“It’s nothing,” Rodney insisted. “I’m just tired. We’ve been working overtime on the defense satellite.”

John and Ronon exchanged a look, and Ronon nodded. “Let’s go.”

“This isn’t necessary!” Rodney dug in his heels. “I just need some sleep. And some coffee. We don’t need to get Carson involved.”

It was happening again. _Fuck_.

“You mean Keller,” John said as gently as he could. “Carson’s gone. He’s been gone.”

Rodney’s hand drifted up to his forehead, and the scar there that had been made by a power drill less than a year ago. All the blood drained out of his face.

“Oh no.”

“There is no need to worry,” Teyla said. “We do not even know what is wrong.”

“Yeah. Let the Doc take a look at you.” Ronon clapped a hand on Rodney’s shoulder.

Rodney nodded, his movements a little jerky.

“Why don’t you guys go ahead,” John suggested to Teyla and Ronon. “We’ll be right behind you.”

Teyla tugged Rodney down so she could press their forehead together. “You are not in this alone.” Before she turned to leave, she reached over and gave John’s hand a squeeze.

“It’s happening again, isn’t it?” Rodney asked tremulously once he and John were alone. “I can’t do it, John. I can’t go through all that again.”

“Hey. It’s different this time.” John pulled him into a tight hug. “I’m your health proxy now. Keller doesn’t get to make any of the decisions.”

“Is it…do you think the parasite laid eggs in there or something?”

John suppressed a shudder. “I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out. Without power tools this time.”

And this time he wouldn’t leave Rodney alone and scared. He’d stay with him every minute until they figured out what was affecting his memory and how to fix it. There had to be a way to fix it, because John had so much more to lose now.

“I don’t want to forget us,” Rodney whispered, hands clutching at the back of John’s tac vest. “Not now that I have you.”

“You didn’t forget me last time,” John reminded him. “And I won’t let you forget this time either. I promise.”

“I’m lucky to have you, Arthur.” It was weak, but John chuckled at Rodney’s joke. It was better than screaming, which was what he really wanted to do.

“Let’s get you home and fix that big brain, okay?”

They held hands as they walked back to the Gate, and John sent a plea out to the universe to spare Rodney. _I love him. Please don’t take him from me_. He only hoped someone was listening.

**Author's Note:**

>  **AN:** I knew when I saw this prompt that it had to be Shrine-related. And I figured it would be extra scary for everyone involved if it happened a few months after that ep and they already knew how bad it could get. Sorry, Rodney!


End file.
